There is a large bowl of bread rising, and as I was washing up, looking out the small kitchen window I feasted on the sight of the small pine tree I planted about 3 1/2 years ago. It is at least double the size now. And I can still remember a spring bird perched 2 years ago, precariously I must admit, on the low thin branch which swayed from the bird’s weight on such an insubstantial base.
And while at the sink tucked in the corner of the window sill is a picture of my dearest friend laughing with my middle son at her home, which makes me happy. That time is now a sad memory, her husband has died and the house in new ownership. I love seeing her big grin so that her current sadness and despair while living in assisted care can momentarily be avoided in my mind.
The thing about time is this; fast or slow, it keeps on relentlessly until we are no longer here to mark it. After my father died quite suddenly at age 54 I used the experience to remind me of the preciousness of life, and how quickly it can disappear from someone we love. As an imperfect being, of course I sometimes forget. A current dilemma I face is how to be close to someone I love who has let me down, repeatedly, time after time. Not like when my mother left me in my baby carriage in front of the hardware store, and walked home without me, though that’s pretty extraordinary. This is different, it’s a bunch of negative feelings festering over a long period.
What do you do when someone you love doesn’t respect you? Can’t find it in their heart to understand your needs? Is too focused on their own plight that there’s no room, no time, no energy for you? Can you read the saying on the card here? Seems appropriate. If you can’t make it out; I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? This is by Jean Clark.
And so time marches on and I have other things I must accomplish now. The answer to the question at top; I’m too busy living life, enjoying fresh bread, a bird on a little tree I planted, and a memory of my dear friend laughing – to worry about the philosophy of time. Thanks for joining me, and I look forward to you comments. Stay warm!!!
*Note about cards pictured here: top, from 2009, bottom, currently for sale. Do NOT steal my art- bad karma, don’tcha know?!