Here’s a small bit of my friend, Peggy’s story. I met her 4 years ago; 2 moms, each with a son with Down syndrome, finding each other in a health food store. How could it NOT happen? Peggy’s daughter died in a car accident about 12 years ago, leaving 3 boys without a mother. Two years later fate left them without their father, due to another traffic accident. So Peggy and Joe took in their 3 grandsons and raised them. The youngest is now almost 18.
Despite Peggy’s deep and lasting grief at the death of her daughter, she continued to support, guide and nurture her son Bob. And she has stuck like glue to me, through thick and thin. In retirement from a 40 year career with the symphony, playing cello, she can no longer grasp strings or bow due to severe arthritis. Yet her voice lifts when she sees my number on her phone screen, as does my heart. We share the qualities of steadfastness and empathy.
Nato’s recent clinic visit brought me into contact with a “professional” I took in dislike. Why? In my opinion she judged my son, his ability, his disabilities, his needs, his wants, and his security. It also seemed like she judged me too. {And found me wanting?!}
So I wondered aloud to Peggy on the phone last night; what happened to civility and positivity? Why can’t we say; gee that’s a great idea and have you considered this one, with which I’ve had some success? Or how about this? You’re doing a great job [at work] yet could we promote this product  a bit more? Somehow we feel less intimidated and more part of a team when suggestions rather than criticisms are spoken. I’ve decided I’m going to try to pause before I speak, and listen to what I say and how I say it in the next few days. Change is possible, if only we’re aware. Notice my use of “we” when I mean me? 🙂

For Peggy and all of you out there. Here’s a young woman with a very lovely voice, and a cellist who keeps his bow in his back pocket when not in use, which gives my Nato the giggles!


P.S. The previous post generated LOTS of spam, including from many “dating” sites. Canned ham indeed! **The knitting shown here is part of a special gift for Peggy in honor of her daughter. I chose shades of pink and white for — the spiritual softness of the look.

Advertisements