How do we learn to love? What is it exactly? What comprises love? For me to explain even if only to myself I must start out with an example; I love my children. It is true they are complex beings, and most of them have not lived in my home for a few years to many years, still I know them, I accept them, I respect them. Most of the time I like each of them, and we are stitched together in a fundamental way. I love each and all.
We human beings have our need to form alliances, to join with others of similar purpose, intent, enjoyment. Sports teams, book clubs, knitting groups, foreign film buffs. And parents. Parents of children who’ve died, or who are disabled, or who all play musical instruments or dance. Parents who come together for observance of a religious holiday, or a walk-a-thon, or a parent-child swim class, yoga class, a family get-together or reunion and on and on… [This was fun.]
Most parents want the best for their children. Many lack skills or incentive to learn skills to improve their parenting. Some find books or others (neighbors, cousins, friends, doctors, etc.) to talk with and so enhance their learning. Some parents do what they can and let the rest go. And some are downright dangerous to themselves and/or their children.
In this fundamental relationship of parent and child, the child learns how to parent. And this is such a curious concept, that we would leave an all-important task up to the whims and vagaries of observation – by children no less – of people doing the parenting who are mostly learning as they go along. Those people “learning while doing” are our parents, and later us.
So is there a better method to bring about more informed parents? Parents trained and guided into loving their children unconditionally, treating them with respect and providing for their welfare until they can stand alone?
Here’s another of my circular discussions, but I think the answer comes down to love and all its components; caring, compassion, respect, unconditional engagement, gentleness and acceptance.
**Cards newly made are displayed on this page. All card backgrounds painted by my son whose disability is invisible.