Wednesday, 23 December 2009
“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.” (quote by Erma Bombeck, picture on right; vintage Italian angels)
With the cause of the recent depression now apparent, the only concern left to me is how I will deal with the residual irritations caused by the actions of my former spouse that began with his infidelity and lack of honor or honesty, and moved on to include cruelty to me and to our children, and his continuing cruelty to our middle son who still, STILL wants some relationship between them, and has been denied one for years. And why? Is he denied because he is disabled? What a stupid excuse.
I will handle it as happened a few days ago, by allowing them to breeze by me. The occasion was an unpleasant one; Nato heaving his guts for hours due to some tainted food. I of course, cleaned the john, cleaned the bathroom floor, cleaned the bucket he used. And cleaned the bucket again the next morning, when upon waking I found it on the kitchen counter where he’d left it for me! In the past when I’ve had to handle events such as this, I usually would feel resentment that I alone continue to care for this child we both brought into our marriage, and he has left far behind him. Nice to see a shift has occurred, finally.
I realize you can do several things when fate smacks you in the face, and I choose now to turn slightly to avoid the slap if possible, and keep moving toward my sunshine. Whenever I deal with the rusty politics of this small prairie town I shake my head in disbelief while I recognize that I am where I need to be at this moment. Here is where I am taking my creativity to new places, and here is where the group of friends I’ve made are sustaining me and buffering me from former cruelties. I am beginning an e-course that I’m very excited about. Hopefully (if I can manage it) along the side will be a button that can lead one to the website for the course. I start training soon to become a volunteer with an organization where I can use my art teaching to help others who are suffering. Our craft circle will pick up again in January, and it’s been a lot of fun so far. For a few weeks I’ll be teaching art to children again, yahoo! And the dance class for Nato and friends will perhaps finally get off the ground…”Doing and making are acts of HOPE, and as that HOPE grows we stop feeling overwhelmed by the troubles of the world.” (quote by Corita Kent)
It may be very near freezing outside, but inside I’ve found my sunshine. It’s keeping me warm. Hope you’re warm also, wherever you are, whatever the weather.