Thursday, 10 December 2009
The title is part of a saying I use on cards, a favorite of buyers: “Always remember to be happy because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.” (author unknown)
This morning I realized I’d wanted to say one more thing about depression, or at least about my own and how I deal with each one. The other day during a conversation with a woman, when I mentioned I deal with depressive episodes said she uses drugs and it makes her feel better. That gives me the shivers. I always go back to two incidents. One; I woke up crying, the phone rang, I answered it to find my cousin/best friend Helene. When I sobbed out she said I should cry, what happened with my marriage was very sad. I told her I’d been put on anti-depression medicine and she said, you need to feel what you’re feeling (and not have it tamped down by medicine.) The second; part one- the therapist who put me on prosac (from above), responded to my question, How long will I be on it? with the answer, probably a year or two. Part two of this- in the supermarket soon after my husband and I began living separately I spoke with the woman behind me in line. She told me she’d been divorced for 10 years, and on anti-depressives for 10 years. My immediate and visceral response to both part one and two were; over my dead body, would I spend a year or two, or ten on drugs to feel better.
The real quick fix in this most recent episode was when my son’s primary caregiver, Vicki, offered to be responsible for him for a week if I wanted to go away alone to get some respite. If you go back to my post on Nov. 8th you’ll read at the end about the nut cracking. This conversation between Vicki and I caused the first crack. To satisfy curiosity I will add it began with Nato’s father refusing him a visit during the summer, on top of the unremitting (24/7) nature of caring for my son. I kept feeling like I couldn’t catch my breath. NOW I can breath freely. I feel my spirits lift seeing the sun come through the sheer curtain over my workdesk. I can hatch a thousand plans, my creativity flows…I feel good. Below is a You Tube movie trailer about the Young @ Heart Chorus. Over the last months I’ve often put the video on as background while I’m working. It always makes me smile.
Completely unrelated to the topic above is this.There is a place: http://www.cdRecyclingCenter.org where you can send your CD’s and DVD’s and they will recycle them. If you read about what goes into the making of them, you may want to go to the effort. This is from the website: Where do I send the discs to recycle them? Currently, the main collection Center is 68H Stiles Road,Salem, NH 03079. We are working closely with other members and manufacturers to become collection centers for us. We will post bulletins as new centers become available. What components do you accept? We accept all types of discs CD, DVD, Blu Ray, HD DVD. PLease keeps all discs type separate – separate and labels CDs from DVDs. For a small contribution per item, we also accept all types of disc packaging including sleeves, jewel cases, slim cases, DVD cases and shell cases. We accept the paper components of the packaging as well. We cannot recycle floppy discs, zip disks, VHS tapes or cassette tapes.